#(but he’s gonna teach me some car maintenance stuff. which will be Nice)

[mars-ipan]

walking is good for me but also i come back with a headache every time

[hellofellowweirdos]

Chapter 4

“We going shopping or shoplifting?” Ava laughs when she sees Tony’s ‘inconspicuous’ attire (a pair of jeans, a blue hoodie, and blacked out sunglasses) as she gently closes her bedroom door. Tony meets her at the top of the stairs and they proceed to walk down together. Tony shrugs.

“Well, I don’t mean to brag but I am Tony Stark aka Iron Man. I have many adoring fans who would love to take pictures.” It’s meant to come off as sarcastic, although Tony’s afraid it may have sounded big-headed. However, to his relief, Ava laughs.

They make it to the elevator; Rhodey telling them to ‘have fun’ just before the doors slide shut.

“Hey, I’m doing this for you: if I’m not recognised the more time I get to spend with you,” Tony says this lightheartedly, however still manages to keep a slight tone of seriousness in his voice that he hopes Ava can hear.

Ava’s quiet for a moment, and Tony thinks he should have made the seriousness of the statement more prominent. Before he can even begin to overthink, however, Ava speaks up.

“Thank you,” she says sincerely; looking up at him with an expression Tony can’t decipher.

“No problem, kiddo.” His words are also sincere. And, although he doesn’t know why, his statement means a lot to Ava - but he dare not ask why, or even point it out.

The elevator finally reaches the lobby floor; and as the doors slide smoothly open, the two are greeted by Happy.

“Good morning, where are you two going?” Happy asks, taking his position as head of security seriously - as always. At first this was extremely annoying to Tony, however as time passed he’s become more fond of Happy’s approach to things.

“Shopping,” Tony answers and picks up his pace.

“I’ll get the car,” Happy states, moving towards the garage before his path is blocked by Tony.

“I was planning on driving today,” Tony informs him as he switches his gaze subtly back and forth between Happy and Ava, hoping he gets the message. Happy gives a slight nod.

“Oh, ok. I get ya.” Tony gives him a quick smile and a thumbs up, and is about to walk away when Happy says, “I’ll follow behind.” Tony’s patience is beginning to ware thin.

“Happy, I know you mean well, but you gotta give me some space,” he tells him as gently as he can; Happy opens his mouth to interrupt, “At least for today.” Without waiting for a reply this time, Tony leads Ava towards the garage. Just as they reach the door Happy calls after them.

“Be back before 7.” Tony chuckles to himself; he even hears Ava let out a slight giggle.

“Yes mom!” he calls back, to which Ava laughs at. He’s very chuffed with himself.

As they enter the garage, Tony notices the way Ava’s eyes widen at the sight of his vast collection of cars. He eyes are immediately drawn to the bright yellow Lambourghuini. Whilst Ava gawps Tony strolls over to all of the keys hanging on separate hooks, and take they keys to the Lambourghuini. Casually, he strolls over to the sports car - tossing the keys up and down as he walks.

“What happened to keeping a low profile?” Ava chuckles at her dad leaning against the side of the car, a smirk on his face.

“This could be any obnoxious rich guy’s car,” Tony explains as he opens the passenger door for Ava.

“It literally says Stark on the back,” she laughs, noticing the number plate, before climbing into the car.

“Would you rather take the subway?” he asks sarcastically, closing the door for Ava. He jogs round to the driver’s side. He doesn’t bother to open the door, he just jumps right over it into the seat.

“Hell no!” Ava replies enthusiastically, running her hand over the dashboard in admiration. Tony smiles.

“Got your seatbelt on?”

“Yep,” Ava replies as she clips herself in.

“Good.” Tony turns the keys in the ignition and the car roars to life.

                                                        ~ ~ ~ ~

“So, where do you wanna go first?” Tony asks Ava as they get out of the car. Ava thinks for a moment.

“Maybe a painting would looks good above my bed,” she replies, unsure as to what she could buy - it’s not her money after all. Tony nods and leads them towards the nearest relevant store.

The store they end up in is a rather large home store, so it takes them a while to find the section they’re looking for.

Ava wanders down each of the aisles, her eyes passing over each of the art pieces on display but none of them have caught her interest so far.

“Seen anything you like yet?”

“Not yet,” Ava mumbles back a reply, her eyes still scanning over her options. They walk a few more feet before she hears her dad’s footsteps behind her come to a stop. She turns around to see him pointing towards a canvas print of Iron Man.

“Now this is very nice. A masterpiece!” Ava giggles. Tony picks up the canvas and shows Ava.

“What do you think? This would look great in the living room,” Tony exclaims, turning it over to see the price on the reverse, “And such a good price! I’ve got to get this.” Tony puts the painting under his arm and continues down the aisle.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Ava giggles, watching her father walk away.

“Of course. I’m gonna hang it above the sofa; see how long it takes someone to notice,” he chuckles. Ava shakes her head in amusement and they continue wandering through the aisles.

***

Eventually, Ava finds a couple pieces of art that she likes.

“I don’t know which one I like more,” Ava mumbles to herself as he looks back and forth between the two canvases.

“Get them both,” Tony encourages.

“Really?”

“Of course. What did I say this morning?” Tony states, already taking one of the paintings from Ava to carry. Ava thinks back to this morning.

“Sky’s the limit,” she remembers, following Tony from the aisle.

“Sky’s the limit,” he confirms enthusiastically, “you can redecorate your whole room if you want, kiddo.” Ava becomes excited at this news.

“Well in that case we’re gonna need a shopping cart,” she exclaims, leading Tony out of the aisle.

***

Throughout the morning, Ava drags Tony around the store and many others looking for the perfect decorations for her new room. Tony doesn’t really mind, in fact, he’s enjoying himself - although by the time lunch time rolls around he’s exhausted.

“You hungry?” Tony asks Ava, interrupting her hunt for the perfect vanity.

“I am kind of peckish,” she doesn’t remove her eyes from inspecting the furniture, “where were you thinking?” Ava continues to move down the aisle, after deciding that particular vanity is not what she wants. Tony trails behind her, pushing the overflowing shopping cart.

Tony thinks for a moment before answering.

“You like Burger King?” she replies, still not stopping her scan of the aisle.

“Great, there’s one just round the corner. We’ll pay for these and then head there,” he looks down at the cart’s contents skeptically, “they deliver don’t they?”

Ava suddenly halts. In his distraction Tony almost doesn’t stop in time, although she didn’t seem to notice - which he’s glad for.

“This one’s perfect,” Ava exclaims, running her hand over the wooden surface of the vanity. She reaches round to the back of the mirror to turn on the large bulbs surrounding it. She squeals in joy, causing a few surprised glances from the surrounding customers. Tony chuckles, I guess she likes this one. He hasn’t failed to notice how picky she is.

“Grab the box and balance it on top of the other stuff,” Tony instructs, and Ava does just that. With the right amount of manoeuvring the contents on the cart, the compact box is now balances on top as safely as it can be.

“Right, food.” Ava sighs dramatically, already charging off towards the checkout. Tony struggles to turn the heavy cart around in the right direction.

Thankfully there isn’t much of a line, although it was enough to make Tony debate on whether to just run around the corner to get their food while they wait. Although he’s starving, Tony decided against it soon enough as waiting to get their food together means that the two of them can spend more time getting to know each other.

                                                         ~ ~ ~ ~

Over lunch the two make small talk, which is extremely awkward at first, however they soon get into an easy and natural conversation about Ava’s school.

“Well, science is pretty cool. But I used to hate it before I got this new teacher, Mr. Burner. My old teacher was really boring, he head this voice that just droned on and on. No emotion in his voice whatsoever! Although you could lead him off on a tangent really easily, we once got him talking about different cookie brands for almost the full lesson,” Ava pauses to shove a few fries into her mouth, “Anyway, Mr. Burner made the lessons really interesting. Like, instead of just lecturing us for an hour he would actually let us do stuff. He’s the reason I joined the chemistry club, which I really enjoyed.”

Ava takes a moment to think, “I’m also pretty interested in engineering. We had a careers day at school not too long ago, it certainly made my mind up about whether it was for me or not.”

“So you want to be an engineer then?” Tony asks enthusiastically, Ava knew this was a topic that she could bond with him over.

“Yeah, although I haven’t had much chance to actually do any - my school doesn’t exactly have the facilities to offer such a curriculum.” Tony seemed disheartened by this comment, almost more than herself it seemed.

“Aww, that’s a shame,” he says sympathetically; his face brightens, “Well I could teach you some things. I have plenty of projects that I’m working on, I could use an assistant.: His voice is laced with hope; Ava finds his shy hopefulness very sweet.

“Really? Does that mean I get to work on the Iron Man armour?!” she squeals excitedly, barely able to contain her excitement.

“Maybe,” Tony replies with a sly chuckle, causing Ava to let out an excited gasp.

“I have so many ideas, I can’t wait to show you. I have them all drawn out in my notebook!” Ava rambles.

Tony raises his eyebrow, “really? Wow, I can’t wait to see them. Are they like cosmetic ideas, weaponry ideas, or just general maintenance ideas?”

“Bit of everything really,” she shrugs, “although I don’t actually know if any f it will actually work: I’m not great with math.” Tony smiles fondly.

“Tell you what, after we finish our food you can get your notebook and we’ll go down to the armoury and take a crack at your ideas. I’ll help you with the math. We can do it together,” he suggests, finishing off his burger in one bite.

Ava beams at the idea, she can’t believe he want’s to work on her ideas with her. And help her learn how to do the math!

“Let’s go!” she exclaims as he gets ready to leave, her mouth full from having just inhaled the rest of her food. Before Tony even gets a chance to say anything she’s marching out the door.

                                                         ~ ~ ~ ~

“Why don’t you go grab your notebook and I’ll meet you in the armoury. It’s just down here,” Tony suggests when they exit the elevator into the living room, gesturing over to the staircase. With a quick nod Ava is running upstairs to her room, prompting Tony to run downstairs - he needs to clean up all the crap he left lying about yesterday.

When he opens the door the mess isn’t as bad as he had thought, just some tools lying out on the counters. Although he does spot his half eaten sandwich and coffee cup left by the computer. He quickly throws the rest of the sandwich in the trash but doesn’t have time to take the mug and plate up the the kitchen as Ava comes bounding down the stairs, notebook in hand. She begins flipping through the pages as Tony sets down the mug and plate on the desk again.

“What you got for me?” Tony pulls an extra stool up to the holographic computer for Ava to sit. She doesn’t look up from her notebook while doing so, still flipping through the pages, making Tony wonder just how many ideas she has.

The two spend quite some time looking over each of her designs. Tony is not only amazed by her ideas, some that even he could never have fabricated, but by her art skills as well. Each idea is mapped out in a painstakingly detailed diagram, not like the kind Tony whips up either: it’s artistic detail, almost like concept art for a movie.

“Wow,” is all Tony can say.

Ava sheepishly glances at him, “I know they’re probably not the best ideas but I worked really hard on them and...” Tony cuts her off, realising she’s getting the wrong end of the stick.

“No, I mean ‘wow’ as in they’re well,” he struggles for words, “just simply... outstanding.” Ava beams; Tony cherishes the sight.

“Thank you. I’ve never actually shown these to anyone before.” Tony is so proud of her, his daughter. Wow, this father thing is catching on pretty fast, he thinks as she flicks through the rest of her drawings: he never thought he’d get to experience this feeling.

Gently taking the notebook from Ava’s hands he continues to flick though the designs.

“They’re all so artistically drawn as well,” he looks up from his inspections to Ava, still grinning form ear to ear, “You, young lady, have talent.” Seeing her so happy and proud of herself makes Tony happy, and in that moment, he realises what it feels like to be a dad. There’s so much love in his expression it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out how much she already means to him - he’d do anything for his little girl.

After flicking through a few more pages he stops, examining this particular design with trained eyes.

“This one!” He exclaims, slapping the notebook down in front of Ava, “Let’s start with this one.” Tony shifts his gaze from the notebook to Ava, smiling a proud smile. Ava nods, and they get to work.

[sevensity]

RFA + theme(?) park day

The reason why there’s a question mark is because I don’t know if all of these count as a theme park... I’m so sorry but I just couldn’t think of anything for Jahee!! ;__;

-Sevensity 

YOOᔕᑌᑎG:

ofc y’all are gonna end up going to a zoo

but not one where the animals are treated like shit

it’s more of an animal conservatory than anything, so they help endangered species and provide a habitat necessary for them to live (honestly some zoos are so atrocious it makes me want to claw my eyes out)

spends hours petting alpacas

“Can we take one home?”

 Yoosung as much as I agree with the idea I think kidnapping an alpaca counts as a felony

You guys have a really wonderful little train ride around the different habitats. There’s a pleasant breeze, which rustles through Yoosung’s hair as he gazes far out across the land. There is no noise other than wind, the rattle of the train on its tracks, and the sound of your own heartbeat, which grows stronger when glance at the man you love

 Yoosung’s face is brighter than the fucking sun he’s such a happy marshmallow

he’ll often start talking all animal anatomy to you and sometimes he just blinks and stops himself because whoops? you probably have no idea what I’m talking about?

but then you tell him he’s really cute when he becomes so passionate about a topic, and he sorta just blushes a little a giggles and says he can teach you more so you guys can have discussions about this sort of stuff

 hoo hoo private lessons with Mr. Kim I’m sure he’s a great tutor wink wonk

Favorite Attraction:

The more peaceful stuff, like carousels and trains

Attraction to keep him away from: 

Roller-coasters (because baby bean is actually a bit afraid of heights) though he will join you if you promise to hold his hand the entire time 

ᘔEᑎ:

he’ll 100% want to bring you to a festival

and people there will 100% try to hire him a a last minute performer so make sure you keep him close to you,  unless you want to see him dress up and parade around in a sparkly outfit that sounds really nice tbh

He’s going to buy a couple of those masquerade masks and make you both wear one but lord are they so extra

He looks like a prince from the medieval ages

Zen is all too eager to show off his strength using the hammer at the strength meter. Finds it adorable when you try to beat his score bonus points if you actually manage to

Is impressed by your skills at Whack-a-Mole, and is kind of embarassed when his own skills are sup-par

You guys share an enormous ball of cotton candy. Usually he doesn’t like sweets because it’s bad for his skin, but now he loves it since it makes your kisses all the more sweet

You ride the Ferris Wheel at night, and Zen makes a point to kiss you when you get to the very top also bonus points if there are fireworks going on

Favorite Attraction:

House of Mirrors (for obvious reasons) can probably smell mirrors from miles away so don’t even try to hide this place from him

Attraction to keep him away from:

House of Mirrors (for equally obvious reasons) yeah so good luck getting him out

ᒍᑌᗰIᑎ:

You guys would probably also go to an amusement park

but good luck getting him to change out of his normal formal attire

“Jumin casual wear. Casual wear.”

“Yes, this is what I wear during a casual day. Is there a problem with my outfit? Is the colour not appropriate?”

“Jumin the colour is the least of my worries. You’ll actually get a heat stroke if you go like that.”

Anyways it takes about a solid hour for you to convince him to downgrade to a dress shirt and jeans

but oh is is worth it because he looks fkn H O T

however, he will not tolerate standing in line for a ticket, to he uses his rich boy powers to be the first one in the park 

Has never been to an amusement park before, and although he does understand their purpose from a business perspective, cannot comprehend why people bother going to them

ok Jumin I’ll show you why commoners come to these places

You don’t even start with the tamer rides to ease him into it, instead, you grab his hand and precipitate yourself towards the biggest, craziest ride there is. 

We’re talking about loops, twists, massive drops...oh, and it goes backwards too

Jumin keeps mumbling to himself as the ride slowly started climbing higher and higher.  You know what to expect, but Jumin doesn’t. You know that the ride hasn’t actually started yet, but Jumin doesn’t.

He grumbles about how useless this is, what a terrible way to pass time, are commoners so desperate for amusement they consider this to be adequate entertainment???

But then you get to the peak, and the only thing keeping you guys from falling straight down are the safety straps

Jumin’s eyes widen just a bit, and he lets out the smallest “Oh” as he realizes his impending doom

You don’t have time to react before you’re both launched into the abyss

Also you’re 128% sure Jumin screamed the whole time while you half laughed at him, half also screamed, though he will deny such a fact for as long as he lives

When you both get out, Jumin’s hair is a complete mess and his cheeks are flushed a delicate pink

move over Zen, there’s a new god in town

You still giggle occasionally at the memory of the ride, so Jumin, wanting some revenge, wraps an arm around your waist, and pulls you closer.

“My, I never knew you could be that loud,” he whispersd in your ear, making you shiver,  “tonight, how about I make you scream like that for me?”

Daddy yes

Favorite Attraction:

Surprisingly enough, he is very fond of water rides - especially those with water guns where you can shoot others with - as well as bumper cars. 

Attraction to keep him away from:

The food court. This man will complain about everything from prices to the quality of food and services, he will go on for hours.  Make sure you go buy your food by yourself. 

ᔕᗩEYOᑌᑎG:

Is an actual ten year old

probably more excited than you are, and you have to keep him from running around in circles while you wait in line to buy tickets (he also wanted to hack into the system earlier so you two could get in before opening hours but you said no)

letting him eat all those chips and soda for breakfast was probably not the best call, since now his energy levels have increased threefold

he’s such a high maintenance boyfriend jfc

at first you think it’s normal because let’s admit it, he’ll always be a kid, and who doesn’t love a good old amusement park outing?

as soon as you get inside, Saeyoung, eyes sparkling with all the mischievious ideas of someone half his actual age, begs you to let him choose the first ride

you agree, because his excitement is getting to you too and honestly you know you’ll have fun together no matter what you do

wow what a terrible idea

of course this tomato choose the water ride, where all the passengers get s o a k e d

now you understand why Saeyoung was so excited, and insisted that you both wear a white tank top that day

but it’s too late to back out now

you have to admit, it’s pretty refreshing after waiting under the scorching heat of the sun for such a long time

you also have to admit the white tank tops weren’t such a bad idea cuz damn this boy has a nice body

though on the other hand, he was hoping to be able to see more

better luck next time ya loser

Favorite Attraction:

Roller-coasters or haunted houses, whichever one it is, he will make a point to scream as loudly as possible, and as obnoxiously as possible. 

Attraction to keep him away from:

Literally any ride during which screaming is not considered appropriate.  He will not hesitate so scream his heart out during a carousel ride, pretending to clutch onto a horse for dear life someone save this boy from himself

[hotvideo]

THE BOSS’ SON (1978)

BACK WHEN I THOUGHT THERE WAS A FUTURE FOR ME IN THIS RACKET, I USED TO PULL ALL-NIGHTERS ON IMDB, CONNECTING THE DOTS BETWEEN THE ACTORS, DIRECTORS AND FILMS THAT COMPRISED WHAT I CONSIDERED TO BE A SECRET HISTORY OF AMERICAN MOVIES. THIS IS HOW I HAPPENED ON WRITER/DIRECTOR BOBBY ROTH. MY OFFICIAL INTRODUCTION TO HIS WORK WAS A FLICK HE MADE IN THE EIGHTIES CALLED HEARTBREAKERS, WHICH HAS, IN MY OPINION, A LOT OF JUICE. BACK IN THE SEVENTIES, ROTH WAS ONE OF A NUMBER OF YOUNG FILMMAKERS EMERGING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, CATS LIKE CHARLES BURNETT (KILLER OF SHEEP), DAVID BURTON MORRIS (PATTI ROCKS), ROB NILSSON (SIGNAL 7), EAGLE PENNELL (THE WHOLE SHOOTIN’ MATCH), AND PENNY ALLEN (PROPERTY).  FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF GRAND WIZARDS LIKE JOHN CASSAVETES, THIS LESS-CELEBRATED CLASS OF FILM MAVERICKS HELPED LAY THE GROUNDWORK FOR WHAT WE NOW KNOW AS AMERICAN INDEPENDENT CINEMA. THE FILMS WERE MADE ON A SHOESTRING, A COLLABORATION BETWEEN BEARDED, BRA-BURNING BOOMERS. SOME WENT ON TO HAVE SUCCESSFUL CAREERS IN AND AROUND HOLLYWOOD; THE OTHERS, WELL, DIDN’T AND NOW TEACH FOR A LIVING. JUDGING FROM THE VIDEO “MASTER CLASSES” IN DIRECTING HE’S SELLING VIA HIS WEBSITE, I’M GUESSING BOBBY ROTH IS ONE OF THE ONES WHO TEACHES FOR A LIVING.

AFTER HEARTBREAKERS, I VOWED TO SEE MORE BY BOBBY ROTH. I FOUND A USED VESTRON TAPE OF AN EARLIER FILM OF HIS, THE BOSS’ SON, ON eBAY. FRANKLY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE DID BEFORE, BETWEEN OR AFTER THESE TWO FILMS, BUT I THINK BOTH ARE INCREDIBLE; ROTH SEEMED POISED TO BE A STRONG NEW VOICE IN AMERICAN FILM. THE BOSS’ SON IS A SOCIAL DRAMA THAT DEALS WITH SOME OF THE HARSH REALITIES FACING THE AMERICAN LABOR FORCE IN THE 1970s. IF MEMORY SERVES, THE TAGLINE ON THE ORIGINAL ONE-SHEET READS SOMETHING LIKE: IF BLUE COLLAR KNOCKED YOUR DICK IN THE DIRT, GET DOWN AND BOOGIE WITH THE BOSS’ SON. IT’S THE STORY OF A RICH KID WHO RETURNS HOME AFTER COLLEGE TO WORK FOR HIS FATHER, A SELF-MADE MAN WHO GOT RICH IN THE CARPET BIZ. POPS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM INCARNATE. HE STARTED FROM NOTHING AND NOW HE’S GOT THE ROLLS AND THE BIG HOUSE IN BEVERLY HILLS, AND ALL THE HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT COME WITH THAT. BUT INSTEAD OF JUST SETTING JUNIOR UP WITH A COZY JOB AT THE COMPANY, POPS DECIDES TO MAKE HIM ONE OF THE FACTORY PROLES. THE KID’S BEEN MOLLYCODDLED ALL HIS LIFE, THE PRODUCT OF A POST-WAR, SUBURBAN JEWISH UPBRINGING, AND HE’S GOTTA LEARN SOMETIME WHAT THE WORLD’S ABOUT.

FOLLOWING A TITLE SEQUENCE COMPOSED OF HOME MOVIE FOOTAGE MOST LIKELY GLEANED FROM ROTH’S OWN CHILDHOOD, THE BOSS’ SON OPENS TO A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN SINGING SHOW TUNES IN THE MIRROR. THIS IS MOM (RITA MORENO, WEST SIDE STORY). SHE’S DRUNK AGAIN.  BETWEEN SIPS OF SHERRY, THE BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIFE ENTERTAINS HER MEXICAN HOUSEKEEPER (LUPE ONTIVEROS, REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES), WHO, OF COURSE, SPEAKS NO INGLES.

AT DINNER, POPS (RUDY SOLARI, “EVERY TV SHOW OF THE 1960s/70s”) TELLS JUNIOR (ASHER BRAUNER, SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) WHAT HE HAS PLANNED FOR HIM. TOUGH LOVE, BABY. THE KID’S A COLLEGE GRADUATE AND HE’S NEVER WORKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. POPS IS ABOUT TO CHANGE THAT. HE’S GONNA SEND HIM OUT ON THE BIG TRUCK WITH A SCHVARTZE NAMED CHARLES (HENRY G. SANDERS, KILLER OF SHEEP) TO LEARN THE BUSINESS FROM THE GROUND UP. POPS IS A BIG-HEARTED GUY, BUT HE’S LOSING HIS SHIRT. HE DOESN’T NEED THE TSOURIS OF RUNNING A BUSINESS ANYMORE, AND HIS PLAN IS TO LEAVE IT TO JUNIOR. THAT IS, IF JUNIOR CAN PROVE HIMSELF TO BE A LEADER AND ONE WHOM THE WORKERS RESPECT.

JUNIOR AND CHARLES DON’T HIT IT OFF IMMEDIATELY, AS THEY COME FROM TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLDS. JUNIOR CAN’T SHAKE HIS ENTITLED ATTITUDE AND CHARLES IS JUST A WORKING STIFF, TRYING TO STAY HARD AND KEEP THE CLOTHES ON HIS BACK, JACK.

“I’d never take anything from your father that I didn’t have coming to me.”

THE MEN LOAD AND UNLOAD HUGE ROLLS OF CARPET FROM AN OLD TRUCK. IT’S BACK-BREAKING WORK, SOMETHING JUNIOR’S NOT ACCUSTOMED TO.

THINGS ARE TENSE AT THE FACTORY. CARPETS ARE FALLING OFF THE TRUCKS AND OLD MAN ROSE IS ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY. POPS’ RIGHT-HAND MAN, BUDDY (JAMES DARREN, GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN), A SHORT-TEMPERED FUCKHEAD WITH FRANKIE AVALON HAIR AND A DIFFERENT PLAID SPORT COAT FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, SUGGESTS THEY HIRE AN OUTSIDE GUY TO COME IN AND FIND OUT WHO’S DOING THE DIRT. POPS ASSURES BUDDY IT’S BEING HANDLED.  

WHEN THE OTHER WORKERS TREAT JUNIOR LIKE A NARC, HE ASKS THE OFFICE MANAGER, AL (FOLK MUSIC LEGEND RICHIE HAVENS, WOODSTOCK) TO LET HIM GO ON A RUN BY HIMSELF. 

SOME FUNKY LITTLE INCIDENTAL MUSIC CUES PLAY HERE AND THERE, JERRY GOLDSMITH-ON-A-BUDGET SMOOVE.

JUNIOR DELIVERS SOME SHIT TO A TOUGH OLD BROAD IN THE BACK OF HER STORE. SHE GIVES HIM HER CARD AND TELLS HIM TO CALL IF HE EVER COMES ACROSS ANY SPARE CARPET. ON THE RIDE BACK, THE REAR OF THE TRUCK FLIES OPEN WHILE JUNIOR’S DRIVING AND A BUNCH OF SHIT FALLS OUT INTO THE STREET, NEARLY CAUSING AN ACCIDENT.

WHEN JUNIOR GETS BACK TO HEADQUARTERS, HE’S LIVID. HE YELLS AT AL IN FRONT OF THE OTHER GUYS, INCLUDING A JIVE-ASS WHITE BOY (CHRIS MULKEY, PATTI ROCKS). AL, REALIZING WHAT’S AT STAKE MAKING WAVES WITH THE BOSS’ KID, PLUGS IN HIS DEFERENTIAL SIDE AND KOWTOWS TO THE LITTLE MAN.

LATER, IN THE COFFEE HUTCH, CHARLES TELLS JUNIOR THAT AL’S GOT A LOT ON HIS PLATE AND SIMPLY FORGOT TO HAVE THE TRUCK REPAIRED, WHILE THE TRUTH IS THE WORKERS HAVE BEEN AFRAID TO BRING UP THE TRUCK’S MAINTENANCE ISSUES TO OLD MAN ROSE, WHO’S ALWAYS CRYING ABOUT THE RISING COST OF TEA IN CHINA.

JUNIOR GIVES CHARLES A RIDE HOME, AND CHARLES INVITES HIM TO STAY FOR SUPPER. WE GET TO SEE HOW CHARLES IS LIVING -- NOT VERY LARGE AND, PRESUMABLY, ON A LAYAWAY PLAN. WE’RE INTRODUCED TO CHARLES’ WIFE, AN UNHAPPY MULATTO NURSE NAMED EVIE. THE MARRIAGE APPEARS TO BE ONE OF CONVENIENCE, LIKE THEY’RE PARTNERS IN A CORNER STORE CALLED MAKING DUE. IT’S HERE THE ACCOUTREMENTS OF CHARLES’ WORKING CLASS DOMESTICITY -- FOR INSTANCE,  A PLASTIC CUBE THAT HOUSES FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS ON EACH OF ITS PANELS -- TAKE ON A GREATER SIGNIFICANCE. THIS IS SOMEONE’S LIFE.

EVIE IS RUDE TO JUNIOR, REFUSING TO COOK SUPPER FOR THE WHITE BOY. ONCE JUNIOR’S OUT OF EARSHOT, CHARLES CONFRONTS HIS WIFE, EXPLAINING TO HER HIS PIPE DREAM OF MOVING ON UP AFTER JUNIOR TAKES OVER HIS FATHER’S COMPANY. SHE CALLS HIM A FOOL. CHARLES PUTS HIS FOOT DOWN: IT’S HIS HOUSE AND JUNIOR STAYS.

EVIE HEATS UP SOME CANNED SPAGHETTI AND WHITE BREAD FOR THE TWO MEN, THEN PREPARES TO LEAVE FOR HER SHIFT AT THE HOSPITAL. JUNIOR THANKS HER FOR THE MEAL AND OFFERS TO CLEAN UP. EVIE JUST SHAKES HER HEAD. 

AFTER SUPPER, CHARLES DEMONSTRATES HIS NIGHTLY RITUAL OF DRIFTING OFF TO SLEEP IN HIS BELOVED LA-Z-BOY CHAIR.

“I puts me on some music, roll me a number, lay back and just drift away, jack.”

I LOVE THIS SCENE.

CHARLES INVITES JUNIOR TO TRY ON THE CHAIR, LIKE THEY DON’T HAVE COMFY FURNITURE WHERE HE COMES FROM. JUNIOR ASKS CHARLES IF EVIE MINDS HIM BEING SO FREE, OUT ALL HOURS AT THE AFTER-HOURS, PLAYING HIS MUSIC FOR THE PEOPLE.

“She’ll never quit me  cos she know I always come through. I say ‘Hey, baby, you know all that runnin’ around don’t mean nothin’, and it don’t... it just be my dick getting hard. Look here, if I see a little girl who’s new in town, don’t know nobody in the city, I says ‘Hey, stick with me, baby, cos I got a line on a good thing goin’, but right now let’s boogie... cos I love me some Pointer Sisters! But if I go to the nickel and dime, don’t ask me for a quarter. Cos how much a dollar cost anyway?”

 RIGHT ON!

THE MEN DELIVER A SHIPMENT TO OLD MAN ROSE’S PAD. CHARLES HAS NEVER BEEN TO THE HOUSE BEFORE. JUNIOR TELLS HIM TO WAIT IN THE FOYER, WHICH, WELL, SAYS A LOT.

CHARLES SAYS SOMETHING STUPID ABOUT THE ART ON THE WALL. THE SPANISH MAID SHUFFLES IN, TALKING THAT PIGEON LANGUAGE OF HERS RAPIDAMENTE. SHE LEADS JUNIOR TO THE GARAGE, WHERE MOM AND HER FRIEND, ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS PIPER LAURIE (THE HUSTLER), ARE WAAAASTED. WHEN MOM SEES CHARLES, SHE HAS THE COMMON MINI-FREAKOUT THAT WHITE PEOPLE HAVE ANY TIME A BIG STRAPPING BLACK MAN ENTERS THEIR CAR AND ATTEMPTS TO REMOVE THEM FROM IT. AGAIN, NICE WRITING BY ROTH! MY MAN! NORMAN JEWISON AIN’T GOT SHIT ON THIS GUY! MARTIN RITT? EAT MY ASS WITH SOME CRACKERS! THE MEN CARRY MOM OUT OF HER BENZ AND INTO THE BEDROOM, WHERE SHE PASSES OUT. PIPER LAURIE FLIRTS WITH CHARLES; HE WOULD TOTALLY HIT THAT IF JUNIOR AND HIS MOM WEREN’T IN THE ROOM.

JUNIOR’S EMBARRASSED BY HIS MOTHER AND THE DEPTHS BY WHICH EVEN BORED BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIVES WILL GO JUST TO GET GOOD AND GASSED IN THE AGE OF ELECTRIC CAN-OPENERS.

TO HELP GET HIS MIND OFF THINGS, JUNIOR INVITES CHARLES TO JOIN HIM FOR A NIGHT ON THE TOWN. THEY GO TO SOME SWINGING HOUSE OF SPIRITS, WHERE CANDI STATON’S COVER OF THE BEEGEES SONG “NIGHTS ON BROADWAY” IS PLAYING WHEN THEY MAKE THE SCENE. JUNIOR SEEMS TO KNOW EVERYBODY IN THE JOINT. AT THE BAR, CHARLES ORDERS A COURVOISIER ON THE ROCKS, WHILE JUNIOR, KEEPING IT LOW-KEY, ORDERS A CUERVO GOLD NEAT WITH A LIME. SUDDENLY, THE BOSS’ SON BECOMES A STEELY DAN SONG.

CHARLES GETS JAZZED AND CUTS IN WITH SOME BLONDE SHAKING HER STUFF OUT ON THE FLOOR. BOOGIE FEVER. THIS IS PRESUMABLY THE BEGINNING OF A VERY LONG NIGHT OF DEBAUCHERY. SADLY, WE DON’T GET TO SEE ANY OF IT.

THE NEXT DAY, JUNIOR AND CHARLES ARE VERY LATE TO WORK.  

THEY GET THE STINK-EYE FROM BIG AL, WHO GIVES JUNIOR A PASS AND CHARLES A TALKING-TO, BROTHER TO BROTHER.

JUNIOR JOINS POPS AND BUDDY FOR A DAY AT THE COUNTRY CLUB. AFTER SOME GOLF, THEY DINE AT THE RESTAURANT, WHERE BUDDY AND JUNIOR BUTT HEADS OVER BUDDY’S INSISTENCE THAT THE DRIVERS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MISSING CARPETS.

BUDDY USES THE WAITER AS AN EXAMPLE WHEN MAKING A LONG-WINDED POINT ABOUT HOW LOW-PAYING JOBS ESSENTIALLY MAKE WORKERS MORE PRONE TO STEAL FROM THEIR EMPLOYERS.

THE FACT THAT BUDDY’S RIGHT DOESN’T CHANGE THAT FACT THAT HE’S A COCKSUCKER WHO USES POPPERS WHEN HE MAKES LOVE TO MEN IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

ON THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS. CHARLES GETS SNUBBED BY ONE OF THE REGS ON HIS ROUTE, WHO DOESN’T LEAVE HIM WITH A CUSTOMARY BOTTLE OF BOOZE FOR CHRISTMAS. IT’S TRUE. IF YOU’RE A COURIER OF ANY KIND AND IT’S THE HOLIDAYS, YOUR REGULAR CUSTOMERS ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING (OR VICE VERSA). JUNIOR DOESN’T GET WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.

OLD MAN ROSE HAS A MEETING WITH THE FELLAS TO EXPLAIN THAT THERE AREN’T GONNA BE ANY CHRISTMAS BONUSES COMING. TIMES ARE TOUGH, YOU KNOW. I RESPECT EMPLOYERS WHO GIVE THESE KIND OF PEP TALKS, DIFFICULT AS THEY ARE TO STOMACH; LEST WE FORGET THE MORE POPULAR ALTERNATIVE, WHICH MOST OF US UNDERPAID SLOBS HAVE GROWN TO ACCUSTOMED TO IN THE YEARS SINCE THE BOSS’ SON, WHICH IS, OF COURSE, NO EXPLANATION AT ALL... JUST THE OLD SHUT-UP-AND-BE-HAPPY-YOU-STILL-GOT-A-JOB.

NICE SHOT OF JUNIOR WITH HIS YOUNGER SELF.

JUNIOR COMMISERATES WITH KEN, THE SADDEST, GUILTIEST LOOKING GUY IN THE BUNCH, WHO IS TOO BROKEN UP TO ATTEND THE STAFF PARTY. HE HAS TO GO HOME AND FEED HIS EIGHT KIDS. HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? AND HE AIN’T EVEN MEXICAN!

NOT THAT HE’S MISSING MUCH. EVERYONE’S DEPRESSED. THEY HOLD THEIR TINY PAYCHECKS AND MOPE AROUND. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

CHRIS MULKEY SLIDES IN LIKE A PUNK AND TELLS EVERYONE HE’S JUST BEEN FIRED FOR BEING A WISE-ASS LITTLE PUNK. HEY, THIS AIN’T PATTI ROCKS, PAL. HIT THE BRICKS!

JUNIOR CONFRONTS BUDDY ABOUT FIRING CHRIS MULKEY. BUDDY SAYS HE FIRED CHRIS MULKEY COS CHRIS MULKEY’S A WISE-ASS PUNK, AND ANY PUNK WHO TRIES THE SAME SHIT IS GONNA GET THE SAME TREATMENT. FINALLY, TO ACCENT HIS POINT, BUDDY SPRAYS SOME BINACA IN HIS MOUTH LIKE A TRUE G.

WHILE JUNIOR’S GRILLING BUDDY, CLEO, THE ONLY CHICK WHO WORKS THE FACTORY LINE, STARTS BITCHING OUT THE GUYS IN THE OFFICE FOR NEVER STEPPING UP AND DEMANDING A BETTER WAGE.

JUNIOR CATCHES THE TAIL END OF CLEO’S RAP AND FOLLOWS HER OUT TO HER VW BUG TO AWKWARDLY ASK IF HE CAN BOOGIE WITH HER BODY AND OFFICIALLY SCRATCH BROWN SUGAR OFF HIS BUCKET LIST. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY JUNIOR HAS CHOSEN CLEO, WHO, LET’S FACE IT, LOOKS LIKE A LESBIAN FOLK SINGER. BUT, HEY, THIS IS AMERICA. WE INVENTED DIFFERENT STROKES. ANYWAY, CLEO TURNS HIM DOWN. SHE’S GOTTA GO HOME AND FIX HAMBURGER HELPER FOR HER KIDS.

“Now look’a here, lil whiteboy, I’s seen ‘em comes and I’s seen ‘em disappear, and nobody does it better than a Texas steer.”

ON THE LOADING DOCK, CHARLES ASKS JUNIOR IF HE’LL TALK TO HIS FATHER ABOUT PROMOTING HIM TO A SALES POSITION. JUNIOR TELLS CHARLES THE GODAWFUL TRUTH: HIS FATHER WILL NEVER PROMOTE SOME RAGTIME SOUL BROTHER TO A RESPECTED POSITION AT HIS COMPANY, AND NEITHER WOULD JUNIOR.

OUCH.

OVER TAKEOUT CHINESE, THE ROSE FAMILY PERFORMS ITS VERSION OF CHRISTMAS. 

MOM’S DRUNK ON PLUM WINE. SHE TELLS POPS TO TELL EVERYONE THE LATEST DEPRESSING NEWS.

IT SEEMS OLD MAN ROSE WENT DOWN TO THE BANK TO GET A LOAN, IN HOPES OF FLOATING THE BUSINESS UNTIL THE DOWNTURN ENDS, AND WAS DENIED.

THEN BUDDY REVEALS HE’S PLANNING TO LEAVE THE COMPANY FOR SOMETHING MORE SECURE. AFTER THAT, EVERYONE AT THE TABLE JOINS IN THE CLASSIC JEWISH AMERICAN PASTIME OF YELLING AT EACH OTHER.

JUNIOR STORMS OUT WITH HIS DATE, WHO HE PROMPTLY DUMPS BACK AT HER PARENT’S. THEN HE TAKES TO THE SAVAGE STREETS, TROLLING FOR COOZE. NEXT STOP, DARKTOWN USA.

JUNIOR SHOWS UP AT CLEO’S PAD. SHE TELLS HIM HER FEELINGS HAVEN’T CHANGED IN THE SIX HOURS SINCE SHE SAW HIM LAST, BUT THAT HE CAN SACK OUT ON HER COUCH IF HE SO WISHES.

JUNIOR TAKES CLEO UP ON HER OFFER. BUT HE CAN’T SLEEP BECAUSE THE VINYL COVER ON HER COUCH MAKES TOO MUCH NOISE. HE DECIDES TO GIVE CLEO ONE LAST SHOT AND GOES IN HER BEDROOM TO LEER AT HER BENEATH THE COVERS.

JUNIOR HAS A MOMENT OF CLARITY, WHEN HE DECIDES TO LEAVE THIS POOR WOMAN ALONE. BUT JUST AS HE MAKES TO LEAVE, CLEO TURNS TO HIM AND ASKS WHY HE DIDN’T JUST WHIP IT OUT AND DO IT, BABY. JUNIOR LEANS OVER AND KISSES CLEO ON THE FOREHEAD AND SAYS GOODNIGHT.

ALL THE GUYS FROM THE FACTORY MEET UP IN SOME PARK TO PARTY. CHRIS MULKEY PULLS UP ON HIS KAWASAKI, CHARLES SITTING BITCH.

THIS IS A GAME WE USED TO PLAY CALLED HOOPS FOR HEADS. EVERYBODY MEETS IN THE PARK AFTER SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS, WITH SOMEBODY BRINGING A CASE OF BEER AND SOMEBODY ELSE BRINGING SOME GRASS. EVERYBODY GETS GOOD AND RIPPED AND READY TO SLAY ON THE COURT. ALSO, EVERYONE SPORTS REALLY BRIGHT ATHLETIC WEAR SO NO ONE GETS LOST TRYING TO FIND THE HEAD.

CHRIS MULKEY DOESN’T LIKE JUNIOR. THIS IS BLATANTLY OBVIOUS WHEN THEY’RE PLAYING BALL BECAUSE HOOPS IS ONE OF THOSE PRIMAL GAMES WHERE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS FOR YOUR OPPONENT WILL COME TO THE FORE, IT SIMPLY CAN’T HIDE; THE OBJECT IS TO USE ONE’S BRAWN TO INTIMIDATE AND CONQUER.

IT ISN’T LONG BEFORE EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF THESE TWO DUDES AND THEY START FIGHTING. MOST GUYS AREN’T GONNA JUST WAIL ON THE BOSS’ KID, BUT CHRIS MULKEY DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK, HE’S ALREADY FIRED.

LATER, A BRUISED JUNIOR COMES HOME AND CATCHES POPS BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL. OBSERVING THE AGONY OF POP’S SITUATION  CAUSES JUNIOR TO FEEL A RARE MOMENT OF LOVE FOR HIS POPS.

THE NEXT MORNING, JUNIOR GOES TO WORK EARLY AND NOSES AROUND THE OFFICE, WHERE HE FIND A PICTORIAL TIMELINE OF THE ROSE COMPANY.

THEN JUNIOR BUMPS INTO THE NERVOUS GUY, KEN, WHO’S MAINLINING FOLGERS LIKE IT’S GOING OUT OF STYLE.

CHARLES ASKS HOW JUNIOR’S CHRISTMAS WAS.

“[Santa Claus] skips the Jews.”

“Well, I guess he figures every day is Christmas for you folks.”

L.A. STILL LOOKS LIKE THIS. ONLY THE CARS AND THE PEOPLE HAVE CHANGED.

AT ONE STOP, JUNIOR AND CHARLES GET WORD THAT THEY NEED TO PHONE THE OFFICE, SOMETHING’S UP.

CHARLES GETS ON THE HORN. HE GETS THE DEETS ON A RUN TO RECOVER AN AWOL TRUCK.

THE BOSS’ SON REALLY NAILS THE PROSAIC GRIME OF L.A. LIKE FEW FILMS DO.

JUNIOR AND CHARLES HAPPEN ON KEN’S TRUCK. THERE’S COPS ON THE SCENE, WHICH IS NEVER GOOD. SOME CHICK’S TAKING PICTURES FOR HER CAMPUS PAPER.

WHEN CHARLES ASKS ONE OF THE COPS WHERE THE DRIVER (KEN) IS AT, THE COP NONCHALANTLY SAYS KEN BLEW HIS HEAD OFF.

THE COPS WANT JUNIOR TO INSPECT THE PAPERWORK IN KEN’S TRUCK AND ENSURE EVERYTHING’S KOSHER.

JUNIOR TELLS CHARLES HE’LL DRIVE KEN’S TRUCK BACK TO THE FACTORY.

WHEN CHARLES AND JUNIOR RETURN, ALL THE WORKERS ARE SITTING AROUND THE OFFICE. THE FIRST THING ANYBODY ASKS ABOUT IS THE CLIPBOARD WITH ALL OF KEN’S ORDERS AND INVOICES. SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT.

CHARLES VOLUNTEERS TO UNLOAD THE REST OF THE CARPET THAT KEN DIDN’T GET TO.

IT’S THEN JUNIOR REALIZES ALL THE DRIVERS ARE IN ON THE ACTION, THEIR COVER BLOWN BY KEN’S SUICIDE.

JUNIOR STORMS OUT OF THE OFFICE. CHARLES FOLLOWS HIM AND THEY HAVE A VERY OVERWROUGHT EXCHANGE ON THE LOADING DOCK. THE RAIN HAS STARTED AND THIS MIGHT AS WELL BE AN ELIA KAZAN MOVIE FROM THE FIFTIES. GOD, I HATE SCENES LIKE THIS.

JUNIOR WALKS AWAY FROM CHARLES, WHO YELLS SOME WEAK-ASS SHIT GUYS LIKE TO SAY TO OTHER GUYS WHEN THEY WANT TO MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE ASSHOLES FOR WALKING AWAY. 

CHARLES KNOWS HE’S FUCKED.

JUNIOR GETS IN HIS BMW AND GOES ON A SPIRITUAL QUEST INTO THE HEART OF L.A.’S DARKNESS WHILE A RICHIE HAVENS SONG CALLED “WHY DON’T YOU WALK AWAY” PLAYS.

... CHICKS WITH DICKS WORK THE LONELY STREETS...

...AND THE 3rd STREET TUNNEL (BLADE RUNNER, LESS THAN ZERO, ET AL) PROVIDES ITS USUAL HALLUCINATORY OPTICS.

JUNIOR ENDS UP AT ANOTHER QUINTESSENTIALLY L.A. VENUE FOR EXISTENTIAL ANGST, THE ALL-NIGHT BURGER STAND, WHERE WEEK-OLD SLABS OF PASTRAMI ARE OVER-SALTED AND SOLD AS-IS TO SAD SLOBS ON THEIR WAY HOME FROM THE BAR.

WHEN JUNIOR GETS HOME, HE FINDS HIS MOTHER UP MAKING COFFEE. A LOT OF OLD PEOPLE LIKE TO DRINK COFFEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE, HEY, THE CLOCK IS TICKING AND THEY’D RATHER STAY UP.

JUNIOR TELLS HIS MOM THE DRIVERS HAVE BEEN STEALING FROM THE COMPANY.

MOM TELLS JUNIOR HE’LL HAVE TO TELL HIS FATHER, EVEN THOUGH IT’S GOING TO KILL HIM.

SO HE DOES.

OLD MAN ROSE MAKES THE DRIVERS SIGN SOME SORT OF LETTER OF RESIGNATION AND/OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THEIR WRONGDOING.

ONLY BIG AL IS SPARED, MOSTLY BECAUSE THE BALLJAZZ IN HIS GOLF PANTS IS KINDA UPLIFTING IN SUCH A GRAVE MOMENT OF SADNESS AND REGRET.

RUDY SOLARI KILLS IT AS OLD MAN ROSE. I BUY EVERY WORD HE SAYS. JUST A MENSCH, THROUGH AND THROUGH. I HOPE BOBBY ROTH WAS SATISFIED WITH SOLARI’S PERFORMANCE, AS THE CHARACTER, I’M ASSUMING, IS WRITTEN VERY CLOSE TO HIS OWN POPS.

POPS TELLS JUNIOR IT’S TIME TO GO HOME.

OUTSIDE, THEY’RE ACCOSTED BY CHARLES, WHO BEGS OLD MAN ROSE FOR HIS JOB BACK. POPS TELLS HIM HE CAN’T HELP HIM. IF I WASN’T SO ANXIOUS TO FINISH THIS MOVIE, I’D WRITE SOME KIND OF EPITAPH FOR CHARLES. (OK: STOP SPLOOGING ALL OVER THAT PRECIOUS TONE POEM KILLER OF SHEEP, YOU CINEMA FAGS, AND DIG HENRY SANDERS’ ROLE IN THE BOSS’ SON.)

AFTER CHARLES GOES AWAY, JUNIOR TELLS HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T WANT ANY PART OF THE BUSINESS, HE’S OUT. POPS IS TAKEN ABACK, THE SHOCK QUICKLY TURNING TO ANGER. THE FLICK ENDS ON ANOTHER KAZAN-LIKE NOTE, WITH JUNIOR WALKING AWAY FROM HIS POPS, ENTERING THE DARK PARKING LOT OF LIFE AS OLD MAN ROSE’S VOICE RINGS OUT:

“Somebody’s got to be the boss!”

YEAH, WELL, THAT INSIGHT AND FIFTY CENTS WILL GET YOU A CUP OF COFFEE, POPS. THE END.

[kapitanwingter]

Chapter 5 - Hear me roar!

Ever told you how forgetful I am?

Setting the alarm clock to wake me up at seven even though I need to wake up at eight. Even though it's Saturday sensha-dou classes are after school every day and at weekend mornings and Saturday afternoon, though we can visit the hangars and tinker with our tanks any time. They may be the possession of the school but the school's sensha-dou committe (Emese and the deputy commander) knows best how to handle them so they leave it to them. However they think the best is to let the crews customize the tanks. Well maybe not the crew of the Tas yet since we're newbies, maybe if we proove ourselves they will trust us enough for that too.

After choosing me as commander we all headed home and Cap told us to go back at nine in the morning. She said the deputy commander will walk us through the operation of the tank and she will instruct us on our first lesson. Everyone else from the club will be training on the grounds which is next to the forest so we will have the entire area for ourselves.

She told us to come in the school's sports outfit because we have some serious cleaning to do. True that, when I drove the tank the inside was...well...it had filth of unspeakable amount. We would also get our equipment and tankwomen clothing. I'm so excited.

I packed some water and sandwiches into my bag which had the union jack on and went to the hangars.

I saw Reiko and Jitsuko was already there with somebody else.

"Hey girls" I said.

"Morning Tami" they replied.

"Good morning miss Tamara" said the girl with long orange hair in twintails. She was wearing the same coverall as Emese yesterday with tanker boots and I saw her leather coat and tanker hat lying on the Panther near her - which I assumed was her tank "I'm Reizei Rin, they call me Lili. I'm Emi's second in command, I look forward to working with you"

"I look forward to working with you as well" I said.

"I heard a great deal about you already. Did you seriously cranked this piece of junk in five minutes?"

"I think it was six"

"Aren't you a modest one"

I giggled a bit.

"I hope we haven't missed the party!" yelled Eimi from the distance who was coming with the missing crew members.

They introduced themselves after.

 "So" started Lili "Shall we start?"

"Lemme guess it's dusting the tank time" said Aoi.

"Pontosan [exactly]" said Lili.

"��ssenek meg kővel ha ez nem magyar volt [Punch me with a stone if that wasn't Hungarian]" I said.

"Tanulgatom [I learn it-ish]" she replied "Okay girls, the tap is over there, get some water and the sponges on the table and let's start scratching off the rust and dirt"

  Thus we did. For an hour or two. After the tank turned into a nice deep olive colour. It had some japanese markings on it, probably from the previous users.

"So anyways" I said "Why didn't you use the tank for this long?"

"It got set on fire by itself" said Lili "The operating crew barely escaped in the middle of the match which was called off after it. The fire almost caused the ammo inside to explode which they menaged to prevent. After they repaired it and started it again but after five minutes of running smoke was coming out of her so they poured some foam in the engine, washed it out and left her in the courner"

"Hmmmm" I reacted "I guess we're lucky"

"How so?"

"Right you haven't heard. My Dad does this for a living, making vehicles safe and operable. He hasn't had a single incident with the refurbished tanks yet. I'm gonna give him a call then"

Lili nodded approovingly.

I talked to Dad for something ten minutes while I looked through the tank thoroughly as the others were starring at me working.

"Don't just stand there y'all we gotta get this engines out now" I said to them.

 "Plural?" asked Eimi.

"Yeah this stuff has two Turán engines inside"

The club is well equipped so we menaged to get the engine block out in half an hour with the jacks then I called Dad again. After close inspection from every possible angle we concluded first that the oil was leaking which was to be expected but I also noticed that fuel was leaking from the combustion chambers at three pistons. I poured some in exactly because of this and not water because it's not the same.

"Gotcha" I said "Even though we need to take apart engine two it's not the most serious problem"

"You guys are professionals" said Lili "Not even the automotive club could figure this one out. Now that I think about it they didn't want to take it apart because they feared it would do it again while taking it out of the tank"

"That was a possibility" I said

"What" asked Reiko.

"Nothing" I replied.

It was noon so we took a lunchbreak before taking apart an entire engine block. We were already exhausted except for Lili so we didn't talk much. After resting for half an hour I sent Jitsuko and Aoi to see if the automotive club members were in their clubhouse today. We got lucky so I asked Eimi and Reiko to look for the Tas's blueprint in the headquarters.

Reinforced with the automotive club's professionalism and equipment we menaged to seal the problematic places away and put it back to it's respectful place. I sat in the driver's seat - and I must admit Fusako did a number on the inside, I couldn't imagine it could be this clean - and hit the ignition button. She had a lot better voice than before. I rolled out with her on the field and hit the pedal to the metal. The Tas accelerates like a mother trucker. For a medium-heavy tank it's really fast and agile though I have a feeling the tracks might get tricky if the road is not stable enough but should perform well in snow and dust or sand. I rode her for ten minutes and nothing happened so I went back after stirring up the dust heavily.

"This should do" I said to everyone "Cheers guys, thanks for the help!"

"It was a pleasure" said the automotive club's main engineer and they went back.

"What a way to waste the day" said Reiko "It's already two PM..."

"Tired already?" said Lili  sarcastically.

"Hell no" she replied.

"Good, because the real fun begins now. As you may or may not know this is a tank. What does it mean? It means you don't operate it alone - duh. Time for a role-call, I heard you already chose Tamara as your commander. Well then commander, time to sorte out who does what"

The girls were all looking at me. They each had the place they wanted to be but were too shy to say it out loud.

"Okay" I broke the silence "First we need a driver. I vote for Eimi since she really is into cars"

"Good call" said Fusako.

"Shooter should be Reiko then because of her sport and hobby"

"Couldn't agree more" said Reiko.

"Loader should be Fusako. I saw your handy work on the inside of the tank, I see you can orientate well inside already and you seem to be very agile and tall enough to have no problem loading the cannon"

"I'll do if you want me to, Tami" she said.

"So that leaves the radio operator and the maintenance personnel..."

"Excuse me" said Aoi "I really enjoyed taking that engine apart. If you teach me everything there is to know I would really much like to be the crew's most important support" then she bowed.

"I'm glad you feel like that. I guess that makes Jitsuko our radioman"

"Seems fine to me" she said.

"Glad you could sort it out this quickly" said Lili "So what are you waiting for? Watabe! Check the loadout with Fusako and also check the engine's parameters, everyone else: battle-stations!"

I told Aoi what to look out for and what to check when inspecting the tank. Before we could jump in the tanks:

"Hold on a sec girls! I almost forgot" said Lili "Come in the HQ"

We went in and saw folded clothes on the chairs with boots in front of them and tanker hats on them.

"First let's get geared up" she said.

 We each got the 38M tank hat, a light-olive coverall with a brown belt and the respective undershits with tankmen boots. Luckily I was prepared and brought...some of my own.

My everyday clothes when the weather allows include a 65M Surranó - a Hungarian military leather boots - and a leather jacket. I also brough my grandfather's leather gloves who passed away before my birth, and a dark-brown, Hungarian version of the german M43 tanker hat..

I took them on or instead of the given equipment. Turned around and said:

"Allright girls, this is the point of no return. Is everybody ready to make history?!"

"YEAH" they yelled back.

Lili was smiling while we took positions inside the tank. "They sure look promising" she must have thought to herself.

Now that I think back things really escalated fast on my first week. It was my third day in school and I already was commander of a 44M Tas in the sensha-dou team. I never could've imagined I would make this progress so fast, not to mention that they would choose and accept me as their commander. The real trial is in front of me but this is the kind of challange I love to tackle head on.

  The hat had a built in radio. It was modern technology so it was wireless and had a long-lasting battery inside. Everyone had access to the radio which was between each other in the tank, I could use the short range radio from my neckpiece on top of the tank radio and I also had a smaller headset under my hat, and Jitsuko was the long range operator. I think these hats are upgraded from the original, made into the likes of the soviet tanker ushankas.

"All right Eimi, all yours now" I said over the radio "Előre!"

"Which means..?" she asked.

"Forwards" I said "Also take it slowly for now"

Lili was observing us from the tower next to the garages.

"So uhm...44M Tas, sorry we don't have a codename for you guys yet..." she said.

"Any ideas?" I asked the crew.

"This one's on you" said Fusako.

"Turul" I said on the short range radio.

"Allright. Turul, go forward and in the forest, follow the road which will lead you to where the others are having their training. Be careful not to go in the firing range but no don't worry they are facing towards the ocean and the range is at the edge of the ship"

"We still haven't set sails you know that, right?" I asked her.

"Uhm...yeah...of course" she said with uncertainty in her voice "But anyways just go where I told you, the short range radio has the range of about two kilometers. The range is three away so if I don't reply switch to long-range. I can see you from up here with my binaculars. Good luck girls"

"Acknowledged" I replied "Tamara temporarily out. Ei we can go a bit faster"

"Understood" she said.

At the edge of the forest it suddenly hit me. I didn't explain to her how to drive a tank. I mean it's pretty straightforward: gas, break, clutch, gears - eight of them forwards and two in reverse - and one break for the left track and one for the right. She's a natural besides her knowladge of cars.

Fusako's job was really easy she just didn't need to drop the ammo and reload fast. Maybe I should explain the breech mechanics to her later, there is a lever which is basically the safe switch in the cannon, she just needs to pull that.

Reiko will need to learn how to estimate distances but otherwise her job was rotating two wheels and the horizontal one has a hydraulic stance so the turret traverses fast.

Jitsuko's job will be an other matter. I'll have to read the manual with her. Thankfully all the manuals for this tank are naturally in Hungarian so it must have been a bit difficult to figure this tank out for the previous operators. This radio will be a tough one though but I'm sure we'll solve it.

I just told Aoi a couple of stuff to check, not even thoroughly but I think she might be an explicit observer as we were tinkering with the engine. I'll send her to the automotive club and I'll tell her everything I know as well. She'll menage very well. In the end she'll menage all the tanks and not just ours.

We did as we were told to and followed the road. Eventually ended up on the training grounds. There were the the shooting grounds which was at least a kilometer long and it really did face towards the side of the ship. To the left there were different kinds of paths which simulated different terrains. To the right I saw a couple of big tents which I assumed were for resting and strategy meetings.

"Lili this is Turul, we're here what do we do now, do you read me?" I asked through my short-range radio. I heard some buzzing so I was about to tell Jitsuko to fetch the manual for the long range.

"Not Lili but I think I'm fine as well" said somebody over the radio.

"Who is that?" I asked.

"Just your superior"

"I apologize, Százados, 44M Tas "Turul", commander Ötvös Tamara reporting for duty"

"Very nice you guys made it there in on piece, Lili already told us your progress on the Tas and frankly you guys did a splendid job"

"Thank you Ma'am"

"Get your asses over here, time to meet the team"

We parked the tank in front of Emese and got out of the tank. The rest of the sensha-dou class was there with the basic team: two Tigers, two Panthers, four Turán Is, four Turán IIs, five Panzer IVs, four Zrínyi 105s and four 75s, one Toldi I and two Toldi IIs. Which made it hundred and twenty eight people in this class. No way I would ever remember that many names. Every one of them gathered around us.

"Ladies" started Emese "These girls got the Tas running again. I would like to introduce you commander Ötvös Tamara and her crew: driver Toyota Eimi, gunner Royama Reiko, loader Katsura Fusako, radio operator Ban Jitsuko and however she's not here but our new general maintenance personnel Watabo Aoi"

"Nice job on the Tas, girls!" said somebody from the crowd. Somebody else whistled one and the rest followed with a big applause.

We bowed.

"I am looking forward working with you" I said.

"Allright girls get to know the new ones after class, back to work everybody" said Emese and the rest listened to her.

She turned to us.

"You on the other hand have been working hard, park your tank there next to the other by the shooting range and go get something to eat from the tent"

"Thank you Captain" I said as I saluted.

She returned the salute and went back to training.

"Százados!" I yelled.

"Hmm?"

"What do we do now?"

"Read the manuals, teach the others and each other how to operate the tank effectively, learn the radio, how to rangefind and shoot accurately, the codes used by us and get closer to each other"

"Understood!"

She smiled and climbed up on the nearest Tiger.

"One more thing" she said.

"Yes Ma'am?" I replied.

"If you have any problems come see me, Lili will be arriving soon and she'll be your instructor until you guys menage on your own"

"Yes Ma'am!"

I climbed up the engine and looked around and I took some time to take in the environment.

"Well then" I said to myself "Let's get to work"